I'm seeing it again today... A person going through a rough time, lots of shit all happening all at once. They're at a low point and looking for help, only to be told that their current situation is due to negativity and poor thinking in the past. BULLSHIT!!!! And STOP saying that to people, especially hurting people!!!! This is victim blaming at its finest. You caused this mess because you allowed in negativity, weren't thinking positively enough, aren't right with god, didn't pray enough, etc, etc... Telling people this is upsetting at best, mentally and emotionally abusive at worst. This is just as bad as saying "God never gives you more than you can handle." FUCK THAT! Maybe we survived it, but it fucked us up for the rest of our lives... God (if you believe in him) doesn't do that, doesn't work that way. People who say this shit make me want to punch them in the throat, though I likely would never do so.
Shit happens. Sometimes it seems to be coming all at once. But life is way too complicated for a run of difficult times to be all caused by negative thinking. There are SO many influences that are outside of our control. The decisions, choices, and free will of others can and does affect us and influence the world around us. Of course how we think can and does affect the things within our control and how we handle the stress of difficult times. So addressing how we think can help us in how we cope with life. Our choices have consequences, so that affects things too. But it's not as simple as "negative thinking created our shitty current circumstances."
One way to help address how we're thinking is Mindfulness. It's about being in the present moment, experiencing what's happening, without judgement of the situation or yourself. An excellent resource for working with this is the book "How to Wake Up, A Buddhist inspired guide to navigating joy and sorrow" by Toni Bernhard. I probably sound like a broken record, as I've mentioned this book fairly frequently lately. I've just gotten so much help and comfort from it that I like to share it. It's available in print, ebook, and audiobook (on audible.com). Toni Bernhard is also chronically ill. She's a great inspiration to me. Her other two books are excellent as well.
What resources have really helped you in coping with chronic illness? Please feel free to share in the comments.
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