Please See My New Blog

I've started a new blog. I felt I needed to start fresh with the new year. I hope you'll join me over there. I won't be posting to this blog anymore, though I'll leave it available.

Renara's Cards and Crystals

I've also started some new social media accounts as well.
I can be found on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest: @RenaraTarot

Winter and Why I Think New Year's Resolutions Fail

For a while now, but especially during the past few days, all I've felt like doing is hibernating. It's Winter, and the Winter Solstice just passed, so that makes sense. But now is the time that people start planning for the new year, setting goals and New Year's resolutions. Typically, it's almost expected that people will fail at their New Years resolutions, and often this is true. The other day I got to thinking about why this tends to be true. I think it's because we're trying to go against the energetic flow of the cycle of the seasons. Yes, it's a new calendar year. Yes, even energetically it technically is a new year, with the passing of the Winter Solstice. Every day from now until the Summer Solstice the days grow longer. However, right now, it is still thoroughly winter. It is still a time of dormancy, hibernation, energy conservation, etc. It is still a more internal time of year, rather than an external time of year. I think this is part of why we fail in following through with our New Year's resolutions. Energetically, this is not a time of year for big change, outward expression, movement, achievement. So trying to make big changes now is in direct opposition to how things are energetically. I think it is this opposition that makes it difficult for us to follow through and achieve changes at this time of year, regardless of what the calendar says.

I think it is more realistic to start planning for the upcoming year. Start with more internal work, small changes. Think about what is happening in nature right now, obviously considering local, bio-regional differences. In general, the tiniest stirrings of awakening may be happening, but internally. The light is just barely making its start towards brightness. So we sense the change, the shift, yet energetically things are still moving very slowly, if at all. This is what we should be doing too. Start slowly thinking about what our goals are for the next year. Make the focus more internal, perhaps through journaling or working with some of the many resources for setting goals and intentions for the upcoming year. Don't push yourself. Respect that you may still be feeling the need to hibernate. Go easy, be gentle.

I'm thinking that while the calendar year has changed, we are fighting the flow if we try to make big changes too early, too soon. My goal is to start doing some thinking about the upcoming year, setting some goals and intentions over the next few months. Closer to the Spring Equinox makes more energetic sense for me to start planting the seeds and nurturing the growth of those goals and intentions. I'm going to try that this year and see if this will help me to be more successful in making the changes I want to make.

Darkness and the Winter Solstice

Today is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day and longest night of the year. The Sun will be renewed, the days will become longer. The cycle of the seasons continues.

Winter Solstice Return of Light

I often will get a candle set up and ready and then shut off all the lights for a few moments. Then I will strike the match and light the candle to signify the returning light and a symbol of hope in the darkness. I think I'll consider the moment of darkness just a bit more...

Timing and Tarot

Just saw some interesting suggestions for timing and Tarot on a Tarotholics Anonymous group thread on Facebook. I’ve tended to avoid timing when doing Tarot readings. I’m gonna have to try these out though and see if they work. I have definitely found that trying to read for farther out than a year just ends up being entirely inaccurate.

• Choose a topic and lay out 1-3 cards for each month (up to a year) or seasonally (winter, spring, summer, fall), or maybe even related to the Moon cycle (if that’s how you prefer to look). Look for love or relationship related cards and see where they fall.

• Embed the timing in the question.
   Will x happen in y timeframe?
   (For example) Will I start a new romantic relationship sometime in the next 3 months?

Could be interesting to see if either work and if they’re accurate.

My Issues with the Law of Attraction

I'm seeing it again today... A person going through a rough time, lots of shit all happening all at once. They're at a low point and looking for help, only to be told that their current situation is due to negativity and poor thinking in the past. BULLSHIT!!!! And STOP saying that to people, especially hurting people!!!! This is victim blaming at its finest. You caused this mess because you allowed in negativity, weren't thinking positively enough, aren't right with god, didn't pray enough, etc, etc... Telling people this is upsetting at best, mentally and emotionally abusive at worst. This is just as bad as saying "God never gives you more than you can handle." FUCK THAT! Maybe we survived it, but it fucked us up for the rest of our lives... God (if you believe in him) doesn't do that, doesn't work that way. People who say this shit make me want to punch them in the throat, though I likely would never do so.

Shit happens. Sometimes it seems to be coming all at once. But life is way too complicated for a run of difficult times to be all caused by negative thinking. There are SO many influences that are outside of our control. The decisions, choices, and free will of others can and does affect us and influence the world around us. Of course how we think can and does affect the things within our control and how we handle the stress of difficult times. So addressing how we think can help us in how we cope with life. Our choices have consequences, so that affects things too. But it's not as simple as "negative thinking created our shitty current circumstances."

One way to help address how we're thinking is Mindfulness. It's about being in the present moment, experiencing what's happening, without judgement of the situation or yourself. An excellent resource for working with this is the book "How to Wake Up, A Buddhist inspired guide to navigating joy and sorrow" by Toni Bernhard. I probably sound like a broken record, as I've mentioned this book fairly frequently lately. I've just gotten so much help and comfort from it that I like to share it. It's available in print, ebook, and audiobook (on audible.com). Toni Bernhard is also chronically ill. She's a great inspiration to me. Her other two books are excellent as well.

What resources have really helped you in coping with chronic illness? Please feel free to share in the comments.



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Getting Ready for Thanksgiving

Today I spent the day starting to get ready for Thanksgiving. With all my food intolerances, I have to make my own bread cubes from loaves of bread. Spent time cutting up loaves of bread into cubes and then drying them in the oven. I did a LOT of other things today too. I almost filled up my entire day's space in my planner where I write my got done list. I did a lot yesterday too. I'm going to have to be careful tomorrow. There's more to be done to prepare. I don't do well doing a lot multiple days in a row. I'll have to delegate some stuff I was planning on doing to the hubby tomorrow.

It's difficult trying to pace when getting ready for a big event like a holiday. Luckily it will likely only be me and the hubby, at home. We don't usually travel home to family for the holidays. We do a full Thanksgiving dinner for ourselves, but tend to spend the day cooking in our pajamas, vegging on the couch watching movies and TV. It's kinda nice and low-key.

How do you handle trying to pace before and during the holidays? Please feel free to share in the comments.



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The Should of Doing

I think I’ve put a LOT of pressure on myself to “do”, to accomplish. I wrote my daily “got done” list at the end of every day (most days) to show that yes, I’ve gotten stuff done despite dealing with chronic illness. I’ve worked with some goal setting tools this year that absolutely have helped me improve my mindset and my efforts. But now I wonder if I’ve swung too far in the opposite direction.

I feel an obligation to “do”, to accomplish, to get stuff done, despite dealing with chronic illness. Why, I’m not sure. Probably in part because my life is NOTHING like I thought it would be before I became ill. I desperately want to be useful, functional. I see others around me accomplishing so much and I’m so jealous. Though I know it’s not true, I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing and I’m going nowhere with my life.

But what if I could be content to just “be”? Can I be content and not worry about how much I did today, or yesterday, or how much I might do tomorrow? I know my worth isn’t reliant upon what I accomplish. But there’s so much I DO want to accomplish and feel like I can’t due to chronic illness. Maybe that’s why I’m grasping so tightly at what I do actually do.

I think I’m going to take the rest of the week off from doing my “got done” list at the end of the day. I think I’m going to try to not worry about what I think I SHOULD be doing. I’m going to try to be content and just “be”.

Do you worry about "doing"? Please feel free to share in the comments.



Please consider also joining me on Tumblr and Pinterest.
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